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Keeping Calm

Keeping Calm
Submitted by the USPS Employee Assistance Program

Everyone encounters stress and difficult times throughout their lives. How we react to these situations can help determine how well we make it through. Why are some people able to stay calm under very stressful situations while others cannot?

The difference between the stressed and the calm is not the amount of difficulties in their lives, but how they handle the load. We may not have control over what difficulties we face, but we do have control over how we react and respond. Staying calm in stressful situations feels much better than being extremely anxious. There are mental and physical benefits to learning how to stay calm.

Anxiety and stress can make thinking clearly difficult. Chronic stress harms the prefrontal cortex of your brain, which regulates memory, attention, behavior, emotions, decision-making and planning. When your cortisol levels stay high, you live in survival mode. When you stay calm, you keep your cortisol under control and use your prefrontal cortex to live proactively.

Chronic stress also has been linked to heart disease, digestive problems, sleep disorders, weight gain, anxiety and depression. Keeping calm is a proactive prevention plan for stress. Keeping calm requires you to increase your stress tolerance and execute small acts to stay calm under pressure. It is the skill of having peace of mind, despite the chaos of life.

Practical Steps for Staying Calm

Practice mindfulness—One of the biggest hindrances to remaining calm are your own thoughts. When you find your stress level increasing and your anxiety rising, stop and examine whether your thought processes are contributing to the worry and pressure. If so, work to change your thoughts and reactions to a more positive, helpful response.

Challenge whether your thoughts are making the situation worse than it really is. By taking time to pause and practice mindfulness, you can take a step back, logically look at what is going on and form a clear and concise response. When you are able to do this, you are able to approach things in a calm and solution-focused way.
Try creating a mindfulness practice. Take time to slow down, savor and really notice your surroundings. Even finding just five to 10 minutes a day to sit in stillness or walk in nature and really notice can help your mind build the “muscles” it needs to let go of all the stress and worry and just be present and joyful in the moment.

Breathing and relaxation—Whenever we are anxious, we tend to take quick, shallow breaths. This is called hyperventilating; it can make us feel dizzy, light-headed and panicky. It also can interfere with our judgment. If you catch yourself hyperventilating, try inhaling a deep breath through your nose, holding it a second and releasing it from your mouth. Repeat this exercise until you feel calmer.

This is a form of meditation and your body will understand that it is not in a stressful situation. Taking only a few deep breaths is enough to control stress. Another technique if you are feeling overwhelmed is to take a short break and then look at the situation with a fresh pair of eyes. Taking a few seconds to count to 10 can give you some space and distance to look at the issue with a new perspective.

Stretch or massage your body. Doing a few stretches relaxes your muscles and, in turn, relaxes your mind. You also can massage your head, temple, hands and neck with your fingers to relieve stress. Keep a tennis or golf ball under your desk and roll your foot over it to get an instant foot massage. If you make it a habit, you’ll destress without even realizing it.

Express gratitude and have a positive outlook—It is human nature to focus on the negative and all the things that are not working in our lives. By shifting our mindset and focusing on our many blessings (even the most basic ones such as a roof over our head and food to eat), we have a lot more about which to smile. The focus shifts from stress to gratitude; we realize that things could always be worse.

People also have a tendency to anticipate the worst possible conclusion to a situation. Instead of using our imagination to scare ourselves, we can use it to solve the problem. Scolding ourselves for all we didn’t get done does not help. Instead, we are far better off being grateful for all that we did do. The more we practice looking on the bright side of things, the less frightening and grim a stressful situation seems. Focusing on the positive and being grateful reduce stress as they shift your focus and change your view of the world.

Recognize and prioritize—An important step to dealing with stress is to acknowledge it and accept it. Other people often realize we are stressed before we do. Make a list of all the things stressing you out and be honest with yourself.

Some of the biggest stressors include a broken relationship, money problems, risk, fear and responsibility. Confront the stressors in your life and look them in the eye. Recognize what you can control and what you can’t. Prioritize your tasks and activities.

Setting priorities helps maintain a sense of control. Figure out what tasks need to be done sooner and what can remain undone for later with no major consequences. Recognize that all tasks are not equally important. Do important things first. You also may create systems to automate tasks so you can free some time and reduce mental clutter.

Keep things as simple as possible. If you’re already having a stressful day, don’t take on new tasks. Learn to say no and, if you can, delegate a few tasks to someone else. Try to focus on one thing at a time. For many people, multi-tasking typically leads to chaos. Try to choose one task, see it through and move on to the next task that needs to be done.

Look for opportunity and keep learning—Calm people look for opportunities in stressful situations. Life doesn’t always go as we plan, which can be frustrating and disappointing. Rather than focusing on the negative, try to see if there is a lesson to be learned or an opportunity for growth. Be open to new possibilities. Remember that life is a journey—not a destination. Every situation is an opportunity if you look for it. When life is hectic, it is an opportunity for you to train your mind to stay calm. Consider yourself a student of life and embrace change.

Seek support—Calm people surround themselves with supportive friendships. By nature, humans are social creatures. Being part of a supportive group of people who understand you and want to see you succeed is a key component to living a happy and full life. Align with those who have similar goals and dreams. The key to supportive friendships is to be a good and supportive friend. The rest will fall into place. This is especially true when the pressure is on. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others for help when needed and offer to assist them in return.

Exercise and sleep—Calm people get enough sleep and exercise their bodies. During sleep, our body rejuvenates, replenishes and rebuilds. Sleeping significantly reduces stress, so it is important you have enough good, quality sleep. In a busy life, though, it’s easier said than done.

When you can’t get enough sleep during the night, take short naps to instantly recharge yourself and reduce your cortisol levels. To keep your mind and body healthy and working at their optimum, it’s important to get plenty of rest. Find a routine that helps you wind down each night. Although physical exercise can be a stressful activity for some, it provides the good stress needed for growth. Over the long run, exercising improves your ability to handle stress.

High-intensity workouts are especially good for improving stress tolerance. If you have a busy life, these workouts are perfect because they won’t take much of your time. When life is crazy busy and you don’t have time, take every opportunity to move your body. Take the stairs and stand up when you can. When you take care of the basics such as sleep and exercise, you perform better and feel less stressed.

Practice Living a Calm Life

While it is great to stay calm in a crisis or when stressed, it is even better to practice living a calm life. To become a calmer person, practice taking small steps over time and honing your skills. This will make it easier to move your mind to a serene place in a time of crisis because you have done it before. Consistent baby steps with a bit of stretch are the best method for creating lasting change in most endeavors.

Practice the new habit over time so it becomes part of you. Finding ways to reduce the effects of daily stress and strengthening your resiliency skills can help you react well such as sleep and exercise, you perform better and feel less stressed.

Practice Living a Calm Life

While it is great to stay calm in a crisis or when stressed, it is even better to practice living a calm life. To become a calmer person, practice taking small steps over time and honing your skills. This will make it easier to move your mind to a serene place in a time of crisis because you have done it before. Consistent baby steps with a bit of stretch are the best method for creating lasting change in most endeavors.

Practice the new habit over time so it becomes part of you. Finding ways to reduce the effects of daily stress and strengthening your resiliency skills can help you react well in future, taxing situations. Your EAP has a free and confidential service to help you do just that.

No matter how busy life gets, there’s always time for peace. Even when you don’t have a second to relax a bit, you can find peace within you. All you need to do is shift your attitude and look at things differently. You can do the hard things and still keep your peace if you practice tolerating stress. Once you’ve learned to master handling your stress, you’ll stay calm—even when life is a challenge.

Your EAP is there to help with counseling and life coaching. Feel free to contact the EAP at 1-800-EAP- 4YOU (TTY: 877-492-7341) or www.EAP4YOU.com with any questions or for more information.